Let Your Body Do The Talking

Let Your Body do The Talking: NON- VERBAL COMMUNICATIONS

 The First seven seconds of meeting someone they develop their first impression  which is heavily influenced by nonverbal cues than verbal cues. In fact, studies have found that nonverbal cues have over four times the impact on the impression you make than anything you say." (Goman, 2011) Nonverbal communication is a way to communicate without using words.The party observes the body language, eye contract, attire, and then makes a judgment without even saying a word. The words are essential but also acknowledging the necessity of nonverbal communication is an advantage that many INDIVIDUALS overlook.This skill can help tremendously in all aspects of your life. This has truly help me in my marriage, school assignments and my business.

          Let's start with one of the essential non-verbal communication skills such as listening. People usually listening to respond instead of listening to understand. Many of us fall into this trap, it is so easy to interrupt and get your point across instead of waiting and listening. 

WHAT IS LISTENING?

     “Listening, on the other hand, is an active process that constructs meaning from both verbal and. nonverbal messages.” (Neil H. Katz, 1992)

  
         I STRUGGLE WITH LISTENING FOR ALONG TIME AND STILL DO. In my family, there are a lot of individuals that love to talk and it was always hard to get a word in. I had to either say it really fast to get in really quick or I just decided not to say anything at all. Now that I am older,  I am able to speak out a bit more and be more social. I am still not a big talker but I struggle with listening to understand because I usually just listen to respond. 

       Ask my husband he will be glad to tell you about me trying to get my point across before I allow him to talk.This lack of skill cause arguments that could have been avoided if we just listened to one another. I know that I am not the only one who struggle with this and wanted to make us all aware of the skills that we are lacking. So lets all learn the different forms of listening so we can learn our particular listening skills and see if we are on track. 

         There are four major forms of listening which are passive listening, Reflective listening acknowledgment, and active listening. Each type of listening plays an essential part of the negotiation. "Reflective listening is a special type of listening that involves paying respectful attention to the content and feeling expressed in another's communication, hearing, and understanding, and then letting the other know that he is being heard and understood." (Neil H. Katz, 1992)   

       To be a Good reflective listener you will have to be able to respond and acknowledge what the other person is saying. The other party will know that you are listening to the question that will show that you are using "Active listening is a hallmark of communication in counseling settings but its value in negotiation might seem less obvious because in negotiation the listener normally has a set position and may feel strongly about the issues." (Lewicki, 2015) 

      When someone is Actively Listening to a conversation does not mean that they agree with the other party and abandon their own. They will encourage them to speak more to get a full perspective on their feeling, priorities and the entirety of their position. "When the other party does so, negotiation will better understand the others position the factors and information that support it; and the ways the position can be compromised, reconciled and negotiated in accordance with their own preferences and priorities" (Lewicki, 2015) An example of active listening.

SENDER: I don’t know how I am going to untangle this messy problem

RECEIVER: You’re really stumped on how to solve this one

SENDER: Please, don’t ask me about that now

RECEIVER: Sounds like you’re awfully busy right now

SENDER:” I thought he meeting today accomplished nothing

RECEIVER: You were disappointed with our session.(Lewicki, 2015)

     Passive listening "involves receiving the message while providing no feedback to the sender about the accuracy or completeness of reception." (Lewicki, 2015) This is a great strategy if the negotiator counterpart is talkative and they can work into or out of a position without any input. This process is tricky but can work if it is done correctly.

      Acknowledgment is more active than passive and will acknowledge when the other party giving information by using "occasionally nod their heads, maintain eye contact, or interjects responses like I see, mm-hmm, interesting, really sure and the like." (Lewicki, 2015) The sender may misinterpret the form of acknowledgment as the agreement of someone else position and this can work against the party.

        The Nonverbal communication skills that we discussed were attending behaviors: listening: active, passive, reflective and Acknowledging. These skills are essential in becoming a well-rounded Individual. "Nonverbal communication – done well—may help you achieve better outcomes through mutual coordination." (Lewicki, 2015) .Verbal communication is important but also recognizing the necessity of nonverbal communication is an advantage that many people overlook.

           After learning these listening skills my husband has seen a huge change in my listening skills. He even complimented me by saying  "thanks for hearing me out" his body language after that conversation was so nice that it was an encouragement to try to get better at my listening skills. This is a constant battle for me but I am trying to get better day after day. I hope you all come along with me on my journey in being a good listening. I can definitely use the support and my husband will appreciate it too. LOLL

WHAT IS YOUR LISTENING STYLE: Active, Passive, Reflective OR Acknowledging?

IS THAT LISTENING STYLE HELPING YOU SOLVE CONFLICT OR HINDERING IT?

 Just know after you earn some knowledge you are responsible for it. Now what you choose to do with it is up to you.

                                                

  References

Goman, C. K. (2011, February 13). Seven Seconds to Make a First Impression. Retrieved from Forbes: http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2011/02/13/seven-seconds-to-make-a-first-impression/2/#665d120d7e6a

Lewicki, R. J. (2015). Lewicki Essentials of Negotiation Desk 6e Desk Copy. United States: Mac Graw- Hill.

Neil H. Katz, J. W. (1992). Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills. Fort Lauderdale, Fl: Kendall Hunt.

Thijs Fassaert, S. v. (2007, November). Active listening in medical consultations: Development of the                 Active Listening Observation Scale (ALOS-global). Retrieved from Science Direct:                              http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0738399107002637